Post practice pain

Went to a couple of great yoga classes back to back yesterday at Yogaworks Larkspur Landing.

First was a 2/3 with Maritza Maritza who is Anusara and Iyengar influenced. Lots of hip openers and lower back stretches. Challenging in a great way. I'm really glad I found her class although driving from Oakland to Marin is a DRAG!

Second was a combination Vinyasa + Restorative with Mirabai Warkulwiz. I refrained from too much deep hip and lower back work as I was already feeling quite stretched out in a good way, and didn't want to push it too much.

Interestingly afterwards I feel like I worked hard but not acute sharp or specific pain so much as a heavy achiness across my entire midback and shoulders down to the sacrum. usually strongest in my quadratus lumborum (QL) and paraspinals as they connect to the top of my (posterior) pelvis. This is often my sensation after a strong yoga practice. Both releasing in terms of tension but wearying in terms of the ache afterwards.

My guess is that this is ache in the compensatory muscles of my back that are (over?) working to stabilize my SI during such strenuous practice. I feel a profound relief at the same time from muscular tension in the region, so it's an interesting situation. I believe that the muscles are getting stronger but the pain really zonks me out.

Any thoughts would be most appreciated.

Sacroiliac ligaments - anterior vs. posterior

Based on the pain and tension patterns in my body I believe it's primarily my posterior SI ligament which was impacted by my injury.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posterior_sacroiliac_ligament

It's also possible that there is some anterior SI ligament instability or sprain as well, but sensationally, I don't quite feel this, but I'm open to learning to distinguish between anterior and posterior SI ligament sensation if anyone has any info. on this. 



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anterior_sacroiliac_ligament

Rooting the femurs into the acetabulum

This is a very popular and well documented technique in many yoga styles, not only Iyengar and Anusara yoga.

The principle is that by rooting the femurs deeply into the acetabulum (ball joint of the hip) this gently softens and spreads the connections between the lower back/lumbar spine, sacroiliac joints (SI) and sacrum, allowing less muscular tension and relaxing the back for many students. This can be accomplished a number of way:
- using a strap on the heel of the foot in supta padangustasana (tolerableand even relieving for me with a limited amount of pressure)
- placing blankets or bolsters or the like on the tops of the thighs in a supine position
- variations on the blanket / bolster approach with a partner assist giving more pressure, even possibly sitting on the prop on the mid thighs

Unfortunately in my body this causes mild to extreme discomfort and in the case of the partnered bolster version, momentarily paralysis and intense pain. What a normal SI / lower back junction experiences as relieving is in my body, terrifying and destabilizing. So after trying for years thinking that it was just me who wasn't GETTING it, I realized that this principle of alignment is CONTRADICTORY IN MY BODY.

Lightbulb! So I don't do these things anymore, I focus on alignment which involves feet wide bent knees wide, which reinforces the security in the hips/si and doesn't try to broaden across the sacrum.

It can be quite interesting to explain to teachers who don't know me in class.

Introduction

Welcome to Brokeback Yoga aka chronicle of my broken back or how to survive a broken back, thrive despite chronic sacroiliac sprain and have a long term (over 2 decades now!) primarily Iyengar yoga practice that has been a foundational piece of my recovery and pain management.

This blog is my record of what it means to break your back and walk away, literally. It's also documentation of my own svadhyaya (self-study) of how this injury affects my yoga practice and overall alignment. I hope it will be useful to other yogis in understanding what it actually means to my body mechanics to have so badly sprained the SI ligaments in my pelvis.

It took me over 30 years to understand why my body is so antithetical to many of even the most rigorous therapeutic yoga and physical therapy doctrine. Much of the alignment principles that are applied to the general population are inverted in my pelvis and hips due to my injury. This has affected my entire body and has led to some very scary moments along the way. So I'm documenting here to share my understanding of how this injury impacted my physical body as well as its impact on my holistic body. I'll touch on other complicating dis-ease states as they affected me, including autoimmune hyperthyroidism (Graves disease), the discovery of a large (6 x 9cm) posteriorly positioned submucosal fibroid in 2014 & subsequent laprascopic myomectomy, as well as the more social/emotional/psychological impact. I'll touch on the work of those who have influenced me and my thinking as well as my practice. I hope others can learn from my experience.

In addition this blog will serve as my gratitude practice for having walked away from this early misadventure and found so much relief and growth in my decades-long yoga practice!

Om shanti shanti shanti

Basic facts:
On a fateful day in 1984 at the ripe old age of 14 I went off a horse while riding. I managed to fracture L4 and L5 and I was lucky enough to (eventually) limp/walk away. I’ve lived with variations on chronic back pain ever since.

The sequence of events:

1. I went horseback riding without bridle and saddle with a friend, mellow stuff out in the pasture with lead ropes and bareback. We were practicing walking the horses next to one another.
2. Unexpectedly both horses spooked and "spun on a dime" as they say...
3. I lost my seat and jumped off rather than be trampled. Note: I am most grateful to my early riding instructors for teaching me how to jump off and to fall rather than get dragged or trampled.
4. Hit the ground and was knocked unconscious.
5. I regained consciousness with no feeling or movement from the waist down. My body looked like a broken rag doll. My jeans were literally shredded apart at the front and side seams at the waist.
6. PANIC and FEAR set in.
7. My legs started spasming wildly and thrashing to and fro...
8. The PAIN hit me….and I regained control from the waist down!
9. After a while (I am unsure how long) I was able, with the help of my friend who had been riding with me, to roll over, get up and limp out of the paddock. I had to retrieve the horse and stable him as my friend couldn’t catch him. That bastard horse.
10. I explained away the limp to my babysitter as just a fall “I’ll be fine”. Parents were out of town, so I was able to mask and hide the situation.
11. I could barely move the next day but I managed well enough. I didn't mention the accident to anyone. 

Thus began my life with a broken back. Three months later I finally told my mom about the injury because I was in chronic intense pain. Walking up the stairs in 9th grade with heavy books was more than I could manage at that point. I masked the pain until it became unbearable. (That’s another story entirely which belongs to another blog, regarding the body-mind connection and how psychology affects our physiology.)

The x-rays taken then showed 2 hairline fractures in my lowest lumbar vertebrae – L4 & L5. The MD told me to never ride again and gave me ibuprofen. Asshole.

I’ve been back in the saddle since then but the PTSD from this experience has weaned me from my need or desire to ride much anymore.

In my quest for pain relief I've tried pretty much everything I could think of
- painkillers incl. anti-inflammatories and anti-spasmodics
- physical therapy
- acupuncture (both TCM and more focused sports medicine acupuncture*)
- chiropractic*
- hatha yoga in particular Anusara* and Iyengar* yoga
- Ayurvedic medicine*
- Osteopathic manipulative medicine*
- Pilates*
- the Alexander technique*
- Rolfing *
- neuro-kinetic therapy*
- learning about the intersection between therapeutic yoga for Graves disease and lower back injury (or lack thereof!)
- learning about autoimmune disease and the neuro-musculoskeletal system
- learning about ACES
- tbd (I'll update as I remember what else) 

This blog will be a log of the various attempts and what I've learned.

I have a high tolerance for pain apparently and this plays into a number of issues that presented along the way as well, including the psychology/physiology intersection, aka body-mind. More on all this as I start to file entries. I'll tag things as they relate to one of the modalities mentioned above. I'll also name names of practitioners and approaches that I recommend from my experiences.

Questions? Ask away. I'll answer honestly. I hope it'll help someone else out there moving forward.

Be well and Namasté